I’m afraid…I felt lonely, hopeless where my parent wasn’t by my side. I’d move out! People asking me, ‘what is wrong? I had enough, need not sympathy from you all! Stop questioning me… there is so much to share yet I don’t know how? I might be stupid that I chose to keep all the stuff within myself instead. I’ll find my way to cope with it.

I went back home today to visit my parent. They are fine, normal and too clam for them to take the fact that I moved out (it happened last month, I think). Mom was about to cry while talking on the phone with me the next day, I recall. Would never realize that mom’s voice was so soft and nice to hear. I got into place no longer the same as my bedroom, my closet…everything’s new! Even my “family” change! Used to be 12 people in the group now only 3 of them. Things changed all this while and I am still remaining like before.

I’m 19 now, people asking and talking about future. My bright future? Hell knows, I got no idea about my future. Oversea, I insist not to go. Why? I don’t want to be their burden anymore; I want them to be happy. As for mom, she wishes to travel lot of place yet now? She always complains about leg aching, hectic work and dad will retire from work after I graduate. The sooner I graduate the sooner their wish comes true. I wish my parent is rich so they wouldn’t suffer so much. Seems like I demand too much from them and neglected what their dreams and how their feelings are…

I’m sorry,
PP.